Annual Annoy Itachi Day
by UchihaKarasu22
Summary: You wouldn't think this morning would start off this way for you. But think again! Poor Itachi Uchiha battles out his morning versus all the other Akasuki members. Frilly dresses and large anacondas and Lilac Lysol and more! More chapters ahead!
1. 1st anniversary of AAID!

Annual Annoy Itachi Day

The day was new; the birds were crooning outside in the morning's sunlight, golden leaves were dancing in the morning breeze, and clouds moved leisurely across the young pink sky. Itachi awoken from an explosion that rang throughout the headquarters. He ripped his bed sheets off his exhausted body and sluggishly got up. He hadn't slept for days, for he had been on a handful of missions with no end. For once, he wanted a break. He, now fully annoyed, got up from his bed. He threw his cape up over his head and slid it down his body. He ran out of his quarters and dashed to the kitchen; for he had expected it came from there. (Nobody could cook, only explosive devices made of food or monsters; the monster was usually made of Sasori's mystery meat) As he entered, he saw Kisame and Deidara over the stove looking into a pan filled with bubbling muck.

"Gross," Itachi replied, as he got the attention of his fellow teammates.

"Hey, I don't see you cooking breakfast," Kisame spoke as he added some kind of green slime to the brown slop stirring in the stainless steel pot. (Let's just say that it's not stainless anymore.)

A chill ran up and down Itachi's spine, and he cringed at the fact that thing, whatever it was in the pot, was moving. The slop suddenly catapulted itself out of the pot and flew towards Itachi. He tried to dodge it, but it was too late. It began to mold into Itachi's facial structure. Itachi began to scream like a school girl would if a spider crawled on her arm. The slop (or whatever it was) was stabbed with multiple kunai until it forfeited and hit the floor hard. Itachi panted in fear and excitement. Kisame and Deidara stared down at their ugly, murdered, masterpiece.

"Why'd you just kil—" Kisame began to say, but was interrupted by Itachi.

"I will get permission from the leader to keep you two banned from the kitchen."

"But—" They began in unison.

"That is final!" Itachi hissed as he dismissed himself from the kitchen. You could hear from down the hallway (where Itachi was close to) the two grown S-criminals crying, "Why!? What did we do to deserve to receive this? We have natural born talents to cook!"

Itachi rubbed his temples as he walked down random hallways, where he caught up with Sasori.

"Itachi," he soon asked.

"Yes, Sasori."

"Do you think you can die so I can make a nice puppet out of you?" He pleaded.

"….No." Itachi coolly said as he pushed past him. He then started charging at him so Itachi had to quickly hide.

'Where's a safe place to hide so I don't get gutted like a fish?' Just then he passed Deidara's room.

'Perfect…Sasori is afraid of Deidara's room!' Itachi flung open the door and ran inside.

"You can't hide in there forever!" Sasori screamed as he pounded on the door. Itachi heard his footsteps slowly fade away.

"Finally," Itachi said in relief. He glanced up and saw frilly dresses thrown in his closet.

"Oh my god!" Just then Deidara came in with teary eyes. He spotted Itachi.

"What are you doing in here!?"

"I'm _**not **_here."

"Oh, ok." He said as he walked out.

"Idiot." Itachi walked out of Deidara's room and went to the bathroom. When he got there, he saw Orochimaru.

"You might not want to go in there…you should go to the other one."

"No time…I go to go!" Itachi yelled as he pushed Orochimaru out of the way and slammed the door shut.

"Oh my god! It smells awful in here!" Itachi screamed as he got the can of Lysol. It made it worse. Poop covered Lilac….gross. He went to turn to the toilet to puke when he saw something wink at him in the bowl.

"Oh m—" an anaconda flew out and ate him whole.

"Told you so." Orochimaru said as he walked away. "I shouldn't have eaten the breakfast Kisame and Deidara made."

HOURS LATER….

Itachi found a kunai knife in his back pocket while in the belly of the beast.

"Time to die!" The snake blew up. Itachi crawled out of the toilet bowl and decided to take a shower. After finishing, his clothes and towel was missing.

"Oh… for god's sake!" He ripped the shower curtain off its rings and walked out. Konan marched by.

"What the— is that the new style, or are you suggesting new cloaks to Pein?" She said snickering with a smirk on her face.

"….No, someone stole my clothes and my towel. _**This**_ is all I had left."

"Oh..that's...too..bad…Itachi." She snickered in between words. She threw the same towel Itachi got out over her shoulder and began to walk away.

"Hey…you stole my towel!" Itachi ran after her. She transformed into a butterfly; but the towel was too heavy so she crashed to the floor. She got up again but Itachi soon held her hostage against the wall.

"Who is behind all of this?"

"I am!"

"Why…Konan, are you doing this to me? Don't you understand that _**I**_ haven't gotten _**any**_ sleep?!"

"Yes," she said while smirking. "I know."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Because….it's Annual Annoy Itachi Day!" she pulled out a calendar. "See?" All of the other members came in.  
"Happy Annual Annoy Itachi Day Itachi?!" They screamed in unison. Itachi passed out.

THE END


	2. Bad news Itachi Uchiha

**Disclaimer:** And you thought it was the **END**! It's only the beginning! If you didn't read the first one I demand you to read it now!! Lol I'm kidding…. no really, I mean it. XDD

SPOILERS ALERT!! lol

**WHATCHA DIDN'T KNOW:** Well after that day, the Akatsuki members vowed to never celebrate that wacky holiday ever again……………………but it's not fun _**if**_ they kept that promise.

Well, if you're smart, you would have figured the second part was gonna happen, since the story is right in front of you, and you're probably thinking to yourself that the author is annoying and should get a life, I understand… but anyway please, by all means, enjoy!

* * *

**That next YEAR**

Itachi was sound asleep in his room, as for everybody else; they were getting ready for their first scheme. The door opened slowly, and two dark figures came tumbling in.

"Jeez Deidara please be careful!" Hidan screeched. Konan hushed them as she stood outside the room changing the batteries for her camera.

"Well it's kinda hard to walk in the dark with heels! You know, you could do this job too!"

"I'm not 'feminine' enough." Hidan referred from last night's argument.

**LAST NIGHT**

"I'm just saying Hidan, if you were more feminine, you could relate to girls more. Then they'll be crawling all over you." Deidara smiled.

**BACK TO THE PRESENT**

"Darn you Hidan."

"Ha-ha. Now get on the bed." Konan came in and turned on her camera as Deidara gingerly crawled next to Itachi on the bed.

"Why can't Konan do this?"

"I'm not 'feminine' enough either," Konan sneered.

**BACK TO LAST NIGHT**…_Again_

"I'm just saying Konan, if you were more feminine, men would like you a lot more. The tom-boyish style isn't working." Deidara smiled…again.

**BACK TO THE PRESENT…** _egh, I'm getting time-travel sick_.

"Oh, come on Konan, I was just trying to make conversation!"

"Hmmm some conversation…. now put your arm around him."

"W-what! W-why!" Deidara freaked.

"Because, it's more feminine… right Hidan?" She nudged his arm.

"You are so right. DO IT!"

"NO!"

"Do it," Konan ordered, "Or I'll hit you so hard you'll wake up and this holiday will be coming around the corner again before you know it." Deidara gulped.

"O-ok," He responded. He moved his hand slowly under Itachi's head and the other across his chest.

"Fix your dress Deidara! I don't want this picture to look sloppy!" Konan exclaimed as she looked on the camera's screen.

"Fine!" After fixing it, he moved his hand back on Itachi's chest.

**(Doesn't it remind you of the movie Major Payne, well does it? Yes? No? Whatever… forget that I asked)**

Suddenly Itachi started moving around and faced Deidara; but still asleep.

"Can you hurry up and take the picture already?!" Deidara whispered in a scared/ angry tone.

"Yeah, yeah just shut up. I can't get it to focus." Itachi started mumbling. Deidara froze. He couldn't make out what he was saying till he repeated it clearer.

"I'm gonna kill you all." He mumbled again. But that's what it sounded like; he really said,

"I'm gonna go to the mall."

"Got it to focus, finally." (She's just an amateur photographer.)

"T-take the picture! TAKE IT! TAKE THE PICTURE!" Deidara quickly posed as Konan pressed the button. Deidara dived off the bed and scrambled out of the room with Konan and Hidan. The door was left open though, oh noes.

_But what they didn't know was that he was simply talking in his sleep. Oh well! _…about the mall?

They all ran down the halls and crashed into the kitchen.

"OMFG! Never again will I do that!" Deidara growled.

"Oh shut up! It wasn't _that_ bad!" Hidan hissed.

"I'm gonna send this to his little brother… hehehehehe." Konan giggled.

There was a loud slam and a pair of angry, loud foot steps headed toward the kitchen.

"It's Itachi! Quick take off the dress!" Konan whispered. Deidara and Konan traded clothes. Hidan sat there watching with his chin to the floor. Itachi entered.

"What is the meaning of this?" Itachi began. He pointed at his netted shirt covered in blue sparkles. The dress that Deidara… scratch that… that Konan was wearing was a sparkly blue dress.

Konan started giggling.

"What's so fun—" Itachi averted his angry eyes to Konan and paused. He found the culprit in a familiar sparkly blue dress.

"W-well," she started as she put a foot on a chair to show off some leg, "Ya looked a little _lonely_ _last_ _night_ so I—" Konan stopped as Itachi dropped to the floor. He was out cold. "Well that was easy," she said as she put her leg back down.

(Where's that EASY button at?)

Hidan was frozen in awe; Deidara was thanking Konan for saving his butt; Itachi was out cold; and well there isn't a fourth sadly.

Konan and Deidara left the kitchen; he got on his regular clothes as did Konan. The dress was buried in the backyard, for some odd reason. Itachi woke up about ten minutes later and got back up on his feet. Hidan still sat there with his jaw still to the ground. Itachi poked him on the forehead, blinked twice and ambled out of the kitchen.

He headed down the hall toward meeting room. Pein and Sasori were playing chess in the corner on a oak table and Kisame was staring at the new fish tank Pein put in there. He was watching the fish swim about.

"Itachi!" Kisame yelled. "Come here! I gotta show ya somethin'! A trick I taught the fishies!" Itachi walked over. Just as he came a few feet away, the fish all hid in the plastic castle in the tank.

"Well they're gone," Itachi stated…the obvious.

"No, no it WORKED! Kisame happy now! Thanks for the help Itachi!"

"Egh. Waste of time." Itachi mumbled to himself. He walked to one of the leather chairs near the fireplace. The minute his butt sat on the cushion, a noise exploded throughout the hideout. _Whoopee cushion…of course._

"ITACHI! EWWWWW!" Kisame exclaimed as he waved his hand in his face. All the fish in the tank played dead. **(Or were they playing?)**

"Leave the room," Pein ordered.

"Fine." Itachi left and went down the hall to his room. But once he was gone, Pein, Kisame, and Sasori fell down, **Laughing Their A's Off.**

Once he reached his room he placed a hand n the doorknob. Turning it, he groaned at the fact that it was locked.

"Egh, I have a feeling…"_** (A feeling you say?! A feeling? What is it? What is boy? Jimmy stuck in a well?! The barn's on fire?! Speak boy, SPEAK!)**_** Sorry can't control myself…..**

He didn't want a broken door so he went back to Pein to see if he could do something. Once he reached the meeting room, no one was there. Nobody was anywhere. He decided to take a shower to get rid of the stress that built up today.

After taking off etc. he opened the curtain, flicked on the water, and turned to see THE WHOLE AKATSUKI GROUP IN THE SHOWER WITH HIM!!

Screaming, he jumped out of the shower, ran through the walls and headed to Konaha……….naked.

"Happy Annual Annoy Itachi Day!" The members screamed happily in unison. They all jumped out of the shower and went to the meeting room. Planting their butts in the seats, Pein picked up the remote and flicked through the a variety of channels till he got to the news.

"Say hello to my little friend—"

"Bubbles, Blossom. And Butter—"

"Comedy Central Presents—"

"Oompa, lumpa doopedy, do—"

"My heart will go on—"

"We are fighting dream—"

"Welcome to Channel seven news—"

"We rock, we rock, we rock on—"

"Pein! You passed it!" Hidan screeched.

"Oh! Oh! It's the Jonas Brothers! Keep it on!" Deidara exclaimed. Pein flicked the news back on.

"No Jonas Brothers."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." Deidara cried as he curled up into a ball.

"Tobi a good boy," Tobi added as he patted his head.

**THE NEWS**

"—so there may be no survivors in My Little Pony World. In other news, our top story today is found in the heart of Konaha. Itachi Uchiha, a infamous S-Rank criminal was found naked running chaotically through the streets. It took, let me see—oh yes, it took 20 dog catchers, 7 giant nets, and 3 garden gnomes to stop this lunatic. He is being held in jail and will be released tomorrow morning. That's it for the news today. Stayed tuned for tonight's news: Lord Orochimaru threatens to drop kid off a apartment balcony while hanging him over it, the price on sake is raised to 20 dollars; Hokage Tsunade outraged, and Rock Lee's new outfit; a green Speedo? I'm Jiraya, wondering I'm on the news channel anyway, see you at seven!" The TV clicked off.

"Well—" Pein started.

"Tomorrow morning?" Konan asked.

"Yep," Hidan replied.

"We're dead," Sasori whispered.

"Yep," Orochimaru nodded.

"Wait a minute! Get out!" Pein yelled as he kicked him out. "Anyway, what were we talking about?"

"Waaaaaaaaaa Jonas Brothers!" Deidara cried.

"Tobi still a good boy."

**THAT NEXT MORNING**

Itachi came up the front steps and stepped on the newspaper under him. Picking it up, he glanced at the front cover. It read, "Did Itachi find a partner?"

"WTF?!" He stomped into the hideout to the kitchen where everyone was sitting.

"We're sorry Itachi," everyone apologized.

"Who is this?" Konan, Hidan and Deidara gasped.

"Um Itachi that is—" Konan started.

"Cuz' she's hot!" All of them fainted…except Deidara. His eyes were shiny and glittering.

"Forget it Deidara." Deidara fainted.

"Happy Revenge against your friend's day! Or RAYFD!" Itachi laughed evilly. And Itachi happily spent the rest of his day… well happy.

"Tobi still a good boy!!"

**THE END**

* * *

Well? Whatcha think?

Let me clear up a few things.

The shows used were in order:

**Scarface, ****PowerPuff Girls, ****Comedy Central, ****Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, ****Titanic, ****Naruto XDDDD, ****The news….****and Camp Rock**

**Oh and Itachi's feeling was that it was AAID again... but he wasn't sure... :D**

_Hoped you liked it!_

_If you want another chapter... please send me notes for things you wanna see in the next chapter, cuz' quite frankly I'm fried._

_Thanks!_


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